There in the darkness I stand in the nothingness that I built. I turn to look what was behind and nothing, but the dark cold lonely feeling of my life passing away. I am weathering away into nothing more than I memory, but yet my heart is beating. I am not gone, but I am. I am lost in this great empty world that is filled with nothing more than darkness. I should just sit in the darkness and wait for death to cover me. Fill my lungs with nothing. Take away everything. I need none of it. It is all going to decay and become the dust that which I am in the process. My progress to the other world will be painful. Well, at least I think it should be. There is nothing for me.
I turn to look behind me again and I something familiar. It is warm and safe. What is this memory? It is of me, as a little boy. It is when I found out that my parents died in a car crash. I start feel, what I felt then allover again. The pain. The hurt. The loneliness. But, why was it warm and safe? This is not safe. This is not warm. I miss you, mom and dad. I remember the days we spent in the living room living our lives. Watching TV. Playing games. Bring to life idea for a vacation. Oh, I have been having a hard time here without you guys. I feel so alone. I feel like a leper. I feel like that everyone wants me out of their lives. That there is no hope for me to find hope in this world. There is nothing more than a void.
In depths of my soul, I hear a voice and it said to me "Son. Son, why are you so sad? Why is there no hope for you? You are still the little boy that I raised. I know you still have that look of wonder in your heart. Not all is lost in you. Life is hard, but I know you. You will see the beauty in everything. There is no more void. It is a lie, conjured deep inside to make believe that you are a leper. A leper? You are not a leper. You are my son that I love deeply."
I start to break down to tears and I scream "Why did you die? Why did you leave me here all alone with no one to help me live? There is nothing here. No one cares. They rather do things for themselves and not for each other. No one cares about anyone. Why must I care? I want to die. Take me with you. I do not want to be here. Life is not just hard, but it is decaying and there is not one person that wants to except that. Denial is the cure for everything. Why must I want to help and yet have no one to help me? I am not asking for the world, but you. Please be here with me or let me go with you."
Light start to come out of this great void and then the voice said "Son..... You are there for those very reasons. You do care and you want to help. That is why you are there. I will be here, but I am still there with you. Never feel alone. I love you my son. You are the world to me. You can change the hearts of man and bring to life an idea that is deep inside of you."
The light starts to shine on the trees around me. The void started to get some form to it. I feel the warmth and safety of the voice's words. I, now know why that tragic moment is warm and safe. The people around me that cared for me and were there for me. I start to feel that there are people in my life that do care.
I speak towards the light "I miss you, but I will not give up living. I will live for you guys. I will live on and make something out of nothing. There is still hope. Hope can be found. Love, it can defeat all that is in the void. Nothing can stand before something that is greater than itself. I care, because I believe. I believe that people can change and that you want to. They want to believe in giants and Titans. I will live for them as well....... Thank you for reminding me what life is about. It is not about me, but for others. Thank you."
The voice said to me "I believe in you my son. Never feel alone. Keep hope in your heart and the wind to your back and let it below you toward the world's unknown. You will do something with nothing. I will always love you."
The light is gone and I am standing in the park by the pond. I smile towards the heavens and believe.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Darkness Rises and Falls
There in the darkness I lie. Nothing more to fight. There's no more fight in my soul. There in the darkest part of my mind; I learned the meaning of darkness. It is where all soldiers come and die. I am close to it, but there is still something in me that wants to struggle to live. As I look down to where my sword was. As the blood drips from my very body. As I realize that the darkness is coming over my soul. The pain settles in. Oh! The pain of knowing death is coming. It is not death that scares me, but knowing my end is now. That frightens me. I pullout a blade from my side. More blood is spilled. I get up from the blood soaked ground. Dirt, sweat, and blood all over me. The battle lost on our part, but yet I feel the need to fight; to save what little I have. I know this will be my end. I could now only see what is in front of me. The darkness is caving my sight. I see one of the beast toward my left. To my right. They stab into my back. I yell out a roar like a lion. "You will not have my end today." I fight and I bleed. I bleed. I bleed. My strength is fading away into the great void. Soon they will have my end. Long as there is a little light left; I will fight with hope. Hope that I will see another day.
Hope to see my future. To have a future. But, I feel this darkness to be too much for me. How can I, a mere man, fight all these beasts. A thought conjures itself. A memory before I became a warrior; when I was a Student of the Law as I swing my sword to the right and to the left to fight off the beasts around my soul, my life, and this body of mine. It was of my master, Dr. Lewis, he told me that "End of a man's life....... God will give you strength. Strength that you have never seen before. He will come through. Always. He will be there and give you what you need. He is greater than you can ever imagine. Trust in Him and your enemies will fall to there knees."
An arrow hit my left arm. It hurts. A tear falls from my eye. A blood soak tear. I really need you, God. My strength is leaving this body of mine. I cannot handle anymore pain. I know that the battle is lost. We will not see victory. Victory is fading away. Soon there will be just a few of us. I look around to see who, on our side is still alive. Sir David, The Knight of Hollowfalls, MacDonald, Hart, and our commander, John, Duke of Evergreen. John looks at all of us and says words that inspires us in the depths of our souls, "Men. There is just a few of us left. But, we are strong, because He is strong. These beast will die here, even if it means our end. They will not pass to the villages beyond the mountains. We will show them that we maybe human and they maybe beasts, but will have the Lord on our side. We fight for a reason. Not to feed and destroy. We do not know where these ungodly creatures come from, but they will know that a few of us can fight off an army of them. They will know why the Father loves us. Despite all of our shortcomings. We rise and rise and rise. To find that we are stronger than what we seem, because we fight for our love ones. And God knows this and loves that we love. So, men! Are we going to let these beasts of darkness pass us!" We all shout "No!" "Are we going to died silently in the night!" He shouts to all of us trying to put faith back in us. We shout again "No!"
The men were filled with strength and hope and faith that we are going to send these creatures of evil back to where they came from. There is only hundred left, but it seem like a endless wave. One by one, we start to fall and die. I tell my self "Come on. Fight a little bit more. God give me strength."
Soon, there was just The Knight of Hollowfalls, Sir David, John, and myself. Then just The Knight of Hollowfalls, John, and I. We fight and fight. Just a hand full of them left. About a twenty. Ten. Five. By this time, one of the beast came behind John, our commander, stabbed him in the back and ripped his head from his body. Before that he gave a look. A look that said "Do not loose." There is just a few. Just a few." I look around and see that The Knight of Hollowfalls died. I retreat to the bridge.
There is only two of them. I feel my strength fleeting away. And they know this. They sense that my end is just moments away. I look toward the heavens and pray. "Father! Creator of all. I plea with you to give me strength to defeat these evil and vile creatures. But, if not. Please! I beg you to not let them pass this bridge. Please end this war here and now." The light has fled away. Only darkness remained. My sight is gone now.
I felt the breathe of one of the beast against of face. The smell of death. I opened my eyes and I saw it and it seemed exhausted. I reach deep within myself for what little strength I have left and ripped its head from its body. One left. Just one. It jumps towards me. I am at the edge of the cliff. I grab it and we both fall. I stab it in its heart, killing it. None left.
I close my eye and embrace the light. The darkness is gone. Only light remains. Before I fell to my death; another thought comes up, of Dr. Lewis in his studies and he tells me "You know that I do not have any sons of my own. But, if I did come to have any. I hope they end up like you. You... I believe in the depth of soul... That you will be a great man and do great things. That is why God still believes in us. At least, that is what I believe. You are made for great things. I know without you there could be a chance that we will cease. I pray that God keeps an eye on you. You are good." I embrace all of what life has given me and embrace my end.
Hope to see my future. To have a future. But, I feel this darkness to be too much for me. How can I, a mere man, fight all these beasts. A thought conjures itself. A memory before I became a warrior; when I was a Student of the Law as I swing my sword to the right and to the left to fight off the beasts around my soul, my life, and this body of mine. It was of my master, Dr. Lewis, he told me that "End of a man's life....... God will give you strength. Strength that you have never seen before. He will come through. Always. He will be there and give you what you need. He is greater than you can ever imagine. Trust in Him and your enemies will fall to there knees."
An arrow hit my left arm. It hurts. A tear falls from my eye. A blood soak tear. I really need you, God. My strength is leaving this body of mine. I cannot handle anymore pain. I know that the battle is lost. We will not see victory. Victory is fading away. Soon there will be just a few of us. I look around to see who, on our side is still alive. Sir David, The Knight of Hollowfalls, MacDonald, Hart, and our commander, John, Duke of Evergreen. John looks at all of us and says words that inspires us in the depths of our souls, "Men. There is just a few of us left. But, we are strong, because He is strong. These beast will die here, even if it means our end. They will not pass to the villages beyond the mountains. We will show them that we maybe human and they maybe beasts, but will have the Lord on our side. We fight for a reason. Not to feed and destroy. We do not know where these ungodly creatures come from, but they will know that a few of us can fight off an army of them. They will know why the Father loves us. Despite all of our shortcomings. We rise and rise and rise. To find that we are stronger than what we seem, because we fight for our love ones. And God knows this and loves that we love. So, men! Are we going to let these beasts of darkness pass us!" We all shout "No!" "Are we going to died silently in the night!" He shouts to all of us trying to put faith back in us. We shout again "No!"
The men were filled with strength and hope and faith that we are going to send these creatures of evil back to where they came from. There is only hundred left, but it seem like a endless wave. One by one, we start to fall and die. I tell my self "Come on. Fight a little bit more. God give me strength."
Soon, there was just The Knight of Hollowfalls, Sir David, John, and myself. Then just The Knight of Hollowfalls, John, and I. We fight and fight. Just a hand full of them left. About a twenty. Ten. Five. By this time, one of the beast came behind John, our commander, stabbed him in the back and ripped his head from his body. Before that he gave a look. A look that said "Do not loose." There is just a few. Just a few." I look around and see that The Knight of Hollowfalls died. I retreat to the bridge.
There is only two of them. I feel my strength fleeting away. And they know this. They sense that my end is just moments away. I look toward the heavens and pray. "Father! Creator of all. I plea with you to give me strength to defeat these evil and vile creatures. But, if not. Please! I beg you to not let them pass this bridge. Please end this war here and now." The light has fled away. Only darkness remained. My sight is gone now.
I felt the breathe of one of the beast against of face. The smell of death. I opened my eyes and I saw it and it seemed exhausted. I reach deep within myself for what little strength I have left and ripped its head from its body. One left. Just one. It jumps towards me. I am at the edge of the cliff. I grab it and we both fall. I stab it in its heart, killing it. None left.
I close my eye and embrace the light. The darkness is gone. Only light remains. Before I fell to my death; another thought comes up, of Dr. Lewis in his studies and he tells me "You know that I do not have any sons of my own. But, if I did come to have any. I hope they end up like you. You... I believe in the depth of soul... That you will be a great man and do great things. That is why God still believes in us. At least, that is what I believe. You are made for great things. I know without you there could be a chance that we will cease. I pray that God keeps an eye on you. You are good." I embrace all of what life has given me and embrace my end.
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